STOP COMPARING YOURSELF! — “A Quarter Life Crisis During 20s”
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. — Teddy Roosevelt
Being in your 20s is weird. You probably feel like you’re still a teenager. But in reality, you’re not. You are young adults with new roles, expectations, and responsibilities.
The elders expect you to have graduated from college, have a job, be financially independent, have a partner, marry, have babies, start a business, buy a home, etc.
These events are shocking for you, right? In your teenage years, you were still a kid under the protection of your parents or guardians. Suddenly, society throws you into the ocean of life. There’s no map or guide to show you the way to becoming a successful person in an instant.
This is terrifying. When you were a kid, society provided you with a systematic way of life. Going to school from primary until college is the automatic script of life for children worldwide. These kids might not ask themselves, “What if I’m not going to school all those years, what would I do?”.
Becoming young adults who carry out sets of expectations, is so stressful & tiring. Unconsciously, they compare their progress to one another. For example, a young woman in her mid-20s has just graduated from college, she hasn’t got a job yet. Not to mention a partner, she’s never been in a relationship before since her parents wanted her to focus on her studies only.
Occasionally, she checks her Instagram account to get to know the life updates of her friends’ lives. Some of her friends have continued their education to Masters/Doctoral degrees, some of them have engaged, some of them have got married, some of them just have got babies, some of them are moving to other countries to start a new life, some of them are opening up a business, some of them have a full-time job, some of them still enjoy their lives happily single, some of them have become successful influencers and many more.
As a consequence, she feels bad about herself. It seems that the only one who hasn’t made any progress in life is her. She’s only there, only existing in this world. She doesn’t feel important. There is nothing she can be proud of about herself. In the end, she blames herself for the choices & things she has made in the past.
If she always compares herself to others and over thinking, she will get depressed. Instead, she has to focus on herself. Life is not about a race of you versus others. Life is a process of individual journey. It’s a long journey. Everyone has a different starting point, everyone has a different goal, everyone has a different path, and everyone has a different version of becoming a successful person.
That is why, everyone’s time to bloom is different from each other. None is late. Everyone is on time based on their personal timeline.
So, take your time, and enjoy every step of your life to the fullest. Live in the present, be there in every circumstance you’re in, do your best in every task you’re assigned to, be consistent and persistent in the path you’ve chosen, and commit to it.
Believe that every little thing, every action, no matter how small it seems will eventually lead you to a bigger picture. The habit you’ve built will make you the person you want to become.
If you’re getting tired, that’s okay. That’s totally normal. You’re a human being after all. So, take a rest for a moment, take a deep breath, and spend good quality time with yourself. Give yourself a present, take a walk anywhere you want, buy food or drinks that you’ve been longing for for a while, read your favorite novel, and get lost in that fantasy world.
When you’ve fully recharged, you can get back on the track you’ve left and continue your journey of life you’ve planned. Later, you will thank yourself that you’ve hung in there, continuing the hard work although in the past the light didn’t seem to appear. Finally, you’ve come this far. Even it might exceed your expectations.
It’s okay, even if your plan doesn’t become a reality, you will be in a better place for you. As humans, what we can do is make plans, execute them, do our best, and let God do the rest. God is the best planner and he knows what’s best for us.
Just make sure that you have to dare to dream big. So, if you don’t achieve the dream you want, at least you will fall into another fantastic land. The best place that God has prepared for you that you haven’t discovered yet.
So, what are you waiting for? Don’t waste your time to worry & compare yourself to others. Focus on yourself, do the best in everything you pray for, and let God take care of the rest. Caiyo!!!
