“How Are You Doing, Oppa?” : Does Parasocial Relationship Affect Your Life Negatively?
I’m in a complicated relationship with my bias. I feel like he’s close to me, but he’s also untouchable — unknown
If you are a K-pop fan, are you probably often wondering what your bias is doing right now? Is he good, healthy, and happy? What does he like to do? and many more questions. If the list goes on, congrats, you are in a trap of parasocial relationship.
After a few years of a break from the K-Pop world, I began to enter this magical world again last year, in 2022 when I faced a stressful phase in my life. I seek escapism from the real world through music. I found some boy groups that have excellent visuals, vocals, dances, and fashion styles. Thus, I feel entertained by their presence. Later, I started to watch their content on YouTube, and also follow their life updates on Instagram & Twitter. Being busy getting to know them not only through their music but also their daily lives & habits that they share through those platforms, make me feel excited & thrilled.
From the daily activities & life suggestions that they share through some apps mentioned above, I can see how hardworking they are in pursuing their goals. Moreover, I am also inspired by their persistence, patience, perseverance, and value in the work ethic that they apply, so that they become as successful as they are right now. Another point of becoming a K-pop fan is I also feel like I have a close relationship with the idols whether as a friend, brother, mentor, or even a boyfriend. So, I won’t feel lonely in striving to achieve my life goals.
What is a Parasocial Relationship?
According to Vanney (2022), a parasocial relationship is a one-sided relationship that a media user engages in with a media persona. In addition, the victim of a parasocial relationship extends emotional energy, interest & time to build emotional attachment. The victim thinks as if they’re in a friendship or any other close relationship with their idols where they are completely unaware of the other’s existence (Horton & Wohl, 1956).
Specifically, Hartman (2016) stated that a parasocial relationship could be seen as a social relationship between a person. In the case of idolizing K-pop idols, the fans towards another person they have met through the media. The illusion of being in a friendship or any other close relationship with the idol happens due to the fans believing that they know their idols in person.
In addition, Hartman proposed that there are some types of parasocial relationships: it is from extreme worshipping to romantic or even antagonistic relationships. Even though the fans don’t directly interact with the idols, an emotional attachment built when the idols share some personal information through their social media accounts such as Instagram, YouTube, and Bubble creates a certain emotional attachment. Thus, the fans feel like they are in a particular relationship although they don’t interact or know with the idols in person.
How Do Fans’ Attachment to Idols Affect The Fans’ Real Life Relationship?
Normally, after the fans became interested in the idols & their persona, many of them used their idols’ persona as motivation & inspiration to live their life. Moreover, the fans who are hugely connected with the idols through the media emotionally will grow a certain type of attachment. There is a type of person who will likely be interested & stuck in a parasocial relationship. It is a person who wants to build an intimate relationship, but at the same time, anxious & sceptical about the relationship accomplishment (Hartmann, 2016).
Cole & Leets (1999) explained in their study about the effect of attachment styles on the intimacy of a parasocial relationship. The attachment style is a descendent concept from John Bowbly’s (1969) attachment theory which refers to a character & a unique way to associate themselves being in a relationship with the “attachment figures” (Levy et al., 2010). The attachment style consists of 4 types; secure attachment, avoidant attachment, ambivalent attachment, and disoriented attachment.
Firstly, a person with a secure attachment would be more open to a relationship with their closest ones (Levy et al., 2010). Secondly, a person with avoidant attachment often feels uncomfortable in a relationship. Furthermore, an avoidant attachment person enjoys being single, so they aren’t interested in a relationship (Sarah, 2023). Thirdly, an ambivalent attachment person is highly interpersonally attached in a relationship (Levy et al., 2010). Lastly, a disoriented attachment person occasionally feels resistant to affection & struggles to ask for or receive help from others (Dozier 1990 in Levy et al., 2010: 195).
To sum up, Cole & Leets (1999) explained that an ambivalent attachment person would tend to be in an intense parasocial relationship. On the other hand, those with an avoidant attachment would be in the light one. Additionally, a person with disoriented attachment desires to be in a relationship, but as well as they are afraid & doubtful about it. They tend to be in intense parasocial relationships which can be seen from their desire in intimacy level, yet they are still afraid to have it in reality.
The Impact of Parasocial Relationship on Adolescent
In every situation, there will always be two-sided coins. It goes the same with the “Parasocial Relationship” between fans & idols. It depends on each person, and how they will utilize this relationship in their lives. Firstly, we’re going to discuss the bad side. If someone has been developing unhealthy relationships as a fan, they are excessively interested, or even obsessed with the celebrity’s private life, this obsession is coined as celebrity worship. However, it can only be indicated by professionals (Maltby, 2003 in Sahrani & Yulianti, 2020).
Celebrity worship negatively affects adolescents in bonding with others, especially romantic ones. According to Erickson (2018) in Shi (2018) explained that 94% of teenagers look for information about romantic relationships through pop culture such as tv series, drama, music, fan fiction, novels, and movies that provide an ideal idea about sex & social relationship. The idea of romantic relationships portrayed in pop culture influences the fans to comprehend the concept of gender as well as gender roles, sex, and social connection. In addition, Erickson illuminated that teenagers who desire to establish & commit a romantic relationship through the parasocial one are likely to obtain the same relationship as they believe. This idea will influence the fans negatively if the fans determine the negative association with the celebrities.
Another study about celebrity worship by Maltby et al (2005) which discusses the relation between celebrity worship with the cause of intense personal & concern for girls’ body shape in Northern England shows that a person who worships a celebrity for intense-personal reasons has bad mental health symptoms. Some of them are depression, anxiety, somatic symptoms, social dysfunction, occasional stress, and dissatisfaction with their lives. Furthermore, a study by Cheung & Yue (2003) in Shi (2018) with 833 Chinese teenagers as a sample shows that those who worship celebrities are struggling emotionally because they slowly lose their self-confidence and decline their achievements. In other words, this study reveals that teenagers who are worshipping celebrities would feel less appreciative of themselves. Thus, it can be concluded that celebrity worship has a bad influence on the mental & physical health of adolescents.
Despite the downside of celebrity worship, some fans take good advantage of the presence of their idols. A study conducted by Sahrani & Yulianti in 2020 about the standard of the lives of K-Pop teenage fans in Indonesia found that the participants had excellent standards of life. The life standards can be seen from 4 aspects; physical health, psychological health, social relationships, and environment. The life standards will be specifically explained in the following paragraph.
First, K-pop fans are healthy physically since they like to do dance practice as exercise. Moreover, some of them are even inspired to take care of their bodies by going to the gym, doing yoga & pilates, and taking vitamins as their idols do. Second, in terms of psychological health, Sahrani & Yulianti (2020) found that the presence of idols in the fans’ lives greatly affects their psychological condition. It relates to the fact that adolescents need role models to construct their personality & identity. Therefore, idols’ positive persona can influence their fans’ to be better. Third, in terms of social relationships, there is a lot of evidence that K-Pop fandoms around the world give positive contributions to society. Occasionally, K-Pop fandoms held positive activities that enhance creativity & teamwork as well as social projects to do charity under the name of their idols. Fourth, when you join the right K-Pop fandom you will likely meet people with the same interest, energy, motivation, & spark to live their lives to the fullest. Hence, the fans aren’t only becoming better individually but also influencing people around their environment to be better.
Another good side of becoming a K-Pop fan is you can make money & work as an influencer. This is such an interesting prospect, right? You can make money out of the things you favor the most. By creating interactive content about your idols with the fans as your market, you can sell K-pop goods, albums, accessories, or even things that are worn or used by your idols. For example, a successful Nctzen-preuner & influencer with an Instagram account namely @gebbysrikandi can make some money out of fangirling. She often goes to concerts & fan meetings, then creates content on her Instagram to hype her interaction with her biases. From creating engaging content, she can successfully grab Nctzens’ attention to hype the idols with her and unconsciously lead the fans to purchase goods that are commercialized officially as well as those that aren’t officially commercialized by the idols.
Conclusion
Idols have various impacts on adolescence. Some of them are positive, while others are not. These impacts depend on each individual. Although idols have already become a big part of some individuals’ lives, it is necessary to be able to choose & control how the idols can impact their lives (Shi, 2018: 10).
References:
Cheung, Chau-kiu, dan Xiao D. Yue. (2012). “Idol worship as compensation for parental absence.” International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 35–46. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2011.649399.
Cole, Tim, dan Laura Leets. (1999). “Attachment Styles and Intimate Television Viewing: Insecurely Forming Relationships in a Parasocial Way.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 16 (4): 495–511. doi:10.1177/0265407599164005.
Hartmann, Tilo. (2016). “Parasocial Interaction, Parasocial Relationships, and Well-Being.” In The Routledge Handbook of Media Use and Well-Being, edited by Leonard Reinecke and Mary B. Oliver, 131–144. N.p.: Routledge.
Horton, Donald, dan R. R. Wohl. (1956). “Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance.” Psychiatry 19, no. 3 (August): 215–229. DOI: 10.1080/00332747.1956.11023049.
Levy, Kenneth N., William D. Ellison, Lory N. Scott, dan Samantha L. Bernecker. (2010). “Attachment Style.” Journal of Clinical Psychology 67 (2): 193–203. doi:10.1002/jclp.20756.
Sahrani, Riana, dan Debora B. Yulianti. (2022). “Quality of Life of Adolescents (Korean Pop Fans).” Advances in Social Science, Education, and Humanities Research 429:771–777. https://doi.org/10.2991/assehr.k.200515.124.
Shi, Mitchell. (2018). “The Effect of CWS on Adolescent Health.” Advanced Writing: Pop Culture Intersections, no. 22, 1–14. https://scholarcommons.scu.edu/engl_176/22.
Vanney, C. (2022). What Is a Parasocial Relationship? Accessed from
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-parasocial-relationship-5210770
