The Fighting of Domestic Abuse Portrayed in “It Ends with Us” by Colleen Hoover (2016)
Ever since pandemic Covid-19 attacked our world at the end of 2019, many people are forced to stay at home while doing their work, school, and business. Despite the tragic happened in the health world, the psychological states, as well as the physical safety of people around the world, are also endangered.
As we have already known, human needs time to observe, understand, and adjust to a new lifestyle. Because of the pandemic, the government gave a new rule for its society to stay at home for the sake of everybody’s safety which aims to end the spread of the virus. However, every decision results in a certain consequence. Home should be a safe space for everyone. It is a place where all family members from parents to children are protecting each other from the dangers that the world has offered. On the contrary, some people might feel that home isn’t a safe place.
According to WHO, “During health emergencies, such as the COVID-19 pandemic, violence against women tends to increase”. Since the health emergencies attack a whole wide world, there is a significant increase in reports about domestic abuse “including China, the United Kingdom, the United States of America, and others” (WHO, 2020). Moreover, anecdotal evidence from the United States, China, Brazil, and Australia recently appeared which indicates increases in intimate partner, women, and children violence due to isolation and quarantine (Campbell 2020; Peterman et al. 2020; van Gelder et al. 2020).
I think it is rare to find a novel that presents the issue of domestic abuse. And if you want to try to understand how people who are abused are felt, the novel “It Ends With Us” by Colleen Hoover is the right choice to be read. This novel will help you a lot in understanding how hard it is for the victims to live with the abusers. Hopefully, by understanding the victims’ point of view, the readers won’t be judgemental of those who are abused and decide to split up with their “abusive partners”. Even, this novel might influence the readers to care for and help those who are currently living under the same roof as the abusers, to get away from such a toxic environment.
This novel consists of a story about a woman named Lily, who fell in love with a kindhearted, smart, and responsible man. They both fell in love and decided to get married. Both of them enjoyed their lives as a newlywed couple. As time passed by, they were finally getting to know each other. Someday, the wife realized that sometimes, her husband hit her whenever he was angry. For a few times, Lily refused to acknowledge her husband’s behavior. She was in denial about reality. However, if she remained living with him, she did not only put her life in endanger but also her future children.
Lily’s life journey which was living under domestic abuse from a child until her middle age (FYI, Lily’s dad was an abuser too), opened up my eyes to that living with the abusers is extremely dangerous both mentally and physically. No matter how deep your love for the abusers, how rich, how smart, and how caring the abusers are, it is wrong to stay with them. Although saying goodbyes to your loved ones is very hard, it’s better to be apart. At the end of the day, it’s for the safety of both parties. For the victims, they can live peacefully in a new healthy environment both physically and mentally. Whereas for the abusers, the goodbyes from their loved ones are an event to learn and evaluate themselves. So, they can change themselves for the better.
I want to give a huge appreciation for Hoover who has written this amazing bitter-sweet story into a novel. If there’s one word to describe this novel is “extraordinary”. Hoover is a genius in choosing a word to word and turning them to be perfect rhyme, but at the same time carried an extremely deep message. He is also using allegory from nature such as waves, oceans, and so on. The words are beautifully written! I love them!
I want to share my two top favorite quotes from this novel. The first one is about the concept of bad people. Hoover wrote that “There is no such thing as bad people. We’re all just people who sometimes do bad things” (p. 16). The second quote comes from Atlas mouth who says, “Just because we didn’t end up on the same wave, doesn’t mean we aren’t still a part of the same ocean” (p. 162).
My final statement is that a family should be a home, a comfortable place, and a warm space to discuss and support each of a family member. Family is a crucial element in society that makes people human beings. Thus, everyone in this world is enabled to feel appreciated and loved.
References:
WHO. (2020). Coronavirus disease (COVID-19): Violence against women. https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/question-and-answers-hub/q-a-detail/coronavirus-disease-covid-19-violence-against-women
Usher et al. (2020). Family violence and COVID‐19: Increased vulnerability and reduced options for support. Int J Ment Health Nurs. doi: 10.1111/inm.12735
